If you keep throwing punches, you're bound to hit something

"A tragic individual who should get out more." Martin Salter, Fishing Consultant

"A man who's (sic) only contribution to public life in Reading is to publish a scandal mongering website." David Sutton, Local Librarian

"A self-righteous little prick" An RBC Employee

Writer's Block

We can exclusively reveal the real reason why Conservative councillor Andrew Cumpsty is stepping down next month "with a heavy heart".

He told muckspReading: "It's a very sad decision but when I do things I like to do them properly. The success of my stand up comedy during council meetings has led to offers for a nationwide tour next November and it means that I am not able to devote the time to council business that I once did."

Everybody's favourite politician Andrew Cumpsty is bringing his new show One Man, One Guvnor to The Hexagon on Saturday, November 8.

The new show will celebrate 8 years at the lager top for Andrew who was voted 1st in Caversham's Greatest Candidate poll in 2006.

Jurassic Lark

Have you seen this old fossil?

Reading Labour Group has issued an urgent appeal.

One Of Our Union Dinosaurs Is Missing.

A Tontysaurus has gone missing from the council offices. A thief entered the Civic Centre and stole his principles whilst no-one was paying attention. He was last seen pretending not to vote for the closure of the Arthur Clarke Care Home, but he didn't fool anyone.

Concerned councillor Janet Gavin told us: "This is a worrying development. I've known Tonty since he was an ego, er, I mean egg. We are all very concerned about him. He was once so independently minded but he seems to have gone soft after being offered the Deputy Mayor position."

Kaur - Wot A Scorcher!!!

Miss Kaur
Labour's Spare Park Ward Candidate

There's much excitement as the 2014 local elections in Park ward turn into a beauty contest between gorgeous pouting Rob White and a London based IT geek from the other side of Reading.

It might be indicative that Labour has given up on taking back the ward lost in spectacular fashion when hot favourite John Howarth left to spend more time selling print services to the Labour Party, but as part of our remit to entertain and inform the voters, Mick Spreader has been trawling the more salacious areas of the interweb and has dug up this video:

Not suitable for Work Miss India 2012

Immigration Reservations

Chief Heap Big No Common Sense
Mick Spreading visited new UKIP convert Chief Heap Big No Common Sense on his white minority reservation in Little Wales for an exclusive interview.

We asked the chief for his thoughts on Crossrail coming to Reading.

"Iron horse bring more immigrants to Reading. Cost big wampum for proud native people."

And what will be in the UKIP manifesto to tackle the expenses scandal?

"We party to tackle expenses fiddle. We experts on it. Big Chief Smokes Fags With Firewater fiddle £2m from EU and don't go to pow-wow to vote."

And if elected to the council how would the Chief handle relations with other councillors:

"Tony Page speak with forked tongue. Me want to shove peace pipe up his arse."

And any last pleas to the voters?

"Palefaces. Vote UKIP."

Bread and Circuses

After their last performance this week Prospect Park has been annexed by the Moscow State Circus in a bloodless coup. An independence referendum clearly showed a 95% majority in favour of breaking away and running away with the circus although the park pigeons refused to take part.
Following the vote, Pavlik the Clown said: "The Moscow State Circus has always had a strong affinity with Reading Borough Council as our loveable buffoons have much in common with the people who run it."

Living in a Box

Living in a Cardboard Box

Caversham councillor, Richard Davies, has attacked Labour candidate Matt Rodda for welcoming news that Crossrail was terminating in Reading.

He tweeted about his serious concerns that it may lead to 'prosperity'. The prolier than thou Co-Op man told Twitter:

"Matt is treading on dangerous territory here. This could be toxic. He has not thought it through."
"Any idea that prosperity is returning may lead people to conclude that Labour did spend all the money and Plan A is working."
"Far better that people stay poor and continue to vote Labour and we must do everything to keep them that way."

When questioned, the Labour Lead Councillor for Housing defended his attack on his colleague:

"I'm justifiably worried about the effects Crossrail could have on rents in Reading. It is MY job to increase the rents of the poorest people in the Borough, not the market's. There are clearly demarcation issues here and I'll be consulting my union."


Angel Slice

We would like to take this opportunity to congratulate Councillor Chris Maskell (or more accurately Maskell-Khan) on his Shahada as recently revealed on

Captured from 02/04/2014

We recognise that it is often difficult for new converts to Islam to get up to speed with foods that they have previously enjoyed, so as a public service, here's a list of Mr Kipling products which are considered haram:

Almond Slices, Angel Slices, Apricot & Raisin Flapjacks, Bakewell Slices, Bakewell Tart, Battenberg, Black Forest Slices, Caramel Shortcakes, Cherry Bakewells, Cherry Slices, Chocolate Chip Cake Bars, Christmas Slices, Country Slices, Country Slices, Double Chocolate Cake Bites, Dundee Slices, Fruit Trifles, Individual Apple & Blackcurrant Pie, Jam Tarts Selection, Lemon Slices, Manor House Cake, Marble Choc & Vanilla Slices, Mince Parcels, Mince Pies, Mini Battenberg, Mini Coconut and Lemon Sponge Cakes, Mini Orange/Lemon Battenberg Cakes, Mini Victoria Sponge Cakes, Mini Xmas Cakes, Rich Chocolate Slices, Santa Bake, Stollen Slices, Strawberry Sundaes, Tangy Lemon Tartlets, Treacle Tart

The Answer My Friend...

  • Unable to take a principled position?
  • Stuck for political leadership?
  • Not sure which way to face?

This deluxe "See-Which-Way-The Wind-Is-Blowing-O-Meter" from Wilson Enterprises will help you resolve those many complex issues without having to resort to flipping a coin..

It will automatically indicate which way you should face depending on your audience.

Several built in dual settings:

  • Crossrail
  • House of Lords Reform
  • EU Referendum
  • Occupational Pensions
  • Same Sex Marriage

Note to users: Although the BBC setting appears to be stuck in the 'Off', this is quite normal under routine use.