Who Exactly is Scraping the Barrel...

Common Sense 6 candidates 1 Lives in ward
Labour 15 Candidates 4 Live in ward
Conservative 15 Candidates 6 Live in ward
Green 15 Candidates 7 Live in ward
Lib Dems 15 candidates 8 Live in ward

As students flock back to town, new students starting at Reading University have been warned to beware of shady characters trading on their naïveté as the Freshers Fayre takes place in the Students' Union.

nuGay and nuLesbian Labour, Gay and Lesbian Tories Against the Whale and for the Bomb, the Far Too Damn Liberal If You Ask Me Democrats and the Greens will be fighting to prove to the new intake which one is the looniest party left in town. Already the Development and External Affairs Office has warned students to avoid the Lib Dems for holding an monthly 'Liberal Drinks' session which has been blamed on a spate of students knocking on doors over the past year.

The Highways Agency has also been preparing for the return of students by rushing through the last of the summer's road repair schemes before cone hunting season starts in Earnest, a small village to the south of the Whiteknights Campus.

Local Greens have been racked by internal strife after a concerted effort to boost their vote in Park ward called into question their core beliefs. Rob White and Adrian Windisch were said to have had a sit down argument over a soya milkshake because of the amount of shoe leather being consumed by their delivery runs.

"Just how many cows had to die for this attempt to get doped up students to waste their votes before they all get jobs as stockbrokers and start voting Tory?"

Rob White responded vigorously to the unfounded accusation:
"How dare you suggest that I exploit animals? I wear synthetic shoes and caffeine is the real drug danger for students. Think of the planet, won't somebody think of the planet?"

"Okay then, just how many prehistoric forests had to die before they were pumped out of the ground and turned into synthetic rubber in this attempt to get doped up students to waste their votes before they all get jobs as stockbrokers and start voting Tory?"

The Green Party in response have issued a statement: "We would like to emphasise that it is not our policy to tell our core voters to grow up and get a haircut. Who'd vote for us?"