Local Lib Dems have been blamed for the decision by Guardian Media Group to cut back the Reading Evening Post to just two editions per week.

A company statement said: "After the Lib Dems slashed Reading Borough Council's publicity budget for the next year, we had serious doubts on how the paper was going to be able to fill its copy with a drastic reduction on fatuous quotes from lead councillors to print. It makes the whole operation untenable."

A source close to the paper told us: "We'll have our revenge on the Lib Dems. If they thought being relegated to having a 'Second Person' piece on the council tax budget was bad, wait until we start putting all their press releases in 24Seven. No-one reads that!"

The annual Retreat pickled onion competition rolled out the red carpet to the world as their 81th pickled onion contest (er, are you sure? Ed.) produced scenes of pure emotion from winner Sally Winslet.

Stepping up to make her acceptance speech on top of the pool table she told everyone:

"You have to forgive me 'cos I have a habit of winning these things.

"Gather

"I'm so sorry, and Martin, Beth, oh God, who's the other one? Okay now...

"Forgive me. Gather. Is this really happening?

"I'm going to try and do this on the cuff. Please wrap up? You have no idea how much I am not wrapping up."

Thank you to the judges from the Evening Post for this award. It's been absolutely extra-ordinary, I've had an amazing couple of years. I got to make these two remarkable jars, and I want to thank the beautiful British Onion Producers Association; the onion growers of Bedford, they all know who they are; the remarkable Oxfordshire barley growers; Sarson's for a lifetime's commitment to turning that barley into the finest malt vinegar; Waitrose for supplying the pickling spices and Ocado for their hard work in delivering the vinegar.

And my husband Roger. Thank you for directing me to the Retreat, Babe. Without you I wouldn't know that this pickled onion competition existed.

"Thank you so much! Thank you so much! My God!"

Martin Salter's email to his close friends and supporters telling them of his long suspected abdication threw up a large list of people who probably wished that the technophobe had learned to use BCC.

From the email:

"I wanted to thank everyone who made it along to my ‘Anniversary Bash’ at South Street the other week"

"I will be leaving Reading West with a strong team of Labour councillors in place and a healthy majority to defend at the next election."

And the people Martin Salter thinks would be pleased to receive a message from him telling them of his leaving a strong team of Labour councillors includes...

A J Pegg, ABC To Read, Adrian Lawson, Alex Bayliss, Alison Bell, Alison Powell, Allen Sinclair, Andrew Dunn, Andy Murrill, Andy Frampton, Ann Morgan, Ann Sheen, Anne Foley, Anne Westgarth, Ash Gupta, B Mitchell, B Revell, Ben Moore, Ben Zielinski, Bente @ RISC, Bet Tickner, Bobbie Richardson, Bobby Lonergan, C Howell, Canon, Cara Brown, Chris Bloomfield, Chris Brooks, Chris Maskell, Chris Waring, Cindy Creasy, Clare Bradley, Clare Muir, Clever Dick, Clive Chandler, Cllr A Bance, D Warren, Dan Paskins, Dave Peasely, David Sutton, Deb & Gaz, Debbie Daniel, Debbie Ward, Deborah Edwards, Deborah Watson, Eastern Earl, Eddie Lopez, Ejaz Elahi, Fergal Sharkey, Fiona Hope, G Strudley Geoffrey Field Junior, Gabby Watts, Ivinn Jan, Glenn Dennis, Gordon Hewson, Graeme Hoskin, Gul Khan, Harry Hudson, Head Geoffrey Field Infants, Head Geoffrey Field Junior, Head Prospect, Head Ranikhet, Head Whitley Park Infants, Head Whitley Park Junior, Helen and Peter, Helen Hathaway, Hilary Murgatroyd, Hilary Scott, Ian Warrick, Irene Cameron, J Gardner, J MacDevitt, James Ashford, Jan Sagoo, Jane Coney, Jeremy Sealey, Jim Hanley, Jo Lovelock, Joe Campbell - Southampton, Joe Williams, Joe Wise, John Ennis ,John Howarth, John Littlefair, John Painter, John Wright, Karen Durcan, Karen Morton, Kate Shaw, Keith Jerrome, Keith Uden, Kevin Holyer, Kim Hewitt, Kim Louise, Kirsty Anderson, Linda Serck, Lindsey No1, Lizz Loxam, Lynda Miller, M Pollek, M Robinson, Malcolm Powers, Marjorie McClure, Martin @ RISC, Mary Singleton-White, Mary Waite, Mian Saleem PCC, Mike @ Voluntary Action, Mike Creighton, Mike Hoare, Mike Orton, Mohammed Ayub, Moira Dickenson, Morris Camilla, My Luminaries, Naomi Prashker, Natasha Burgess, Neslick, Nichola O'Dowda, Nicholas Stringer, P & S Spiers, P Bale, P Sloman, Pat Baxter, Pat Kenny, Paul Gittings, Paul Metcalf, Paul Tolman, Paul Webb, Pete Ruhemann, Pete Thompson, Peter Jones, Peter Small, R Richens, Rajinder @ RCRE, Ray Parkes, Reuben Webb, Rhona Brown, Richard Aylard, Richard McKenzie, Richard Stainthorp, Rob Ketley, Robert Owen, Roger Sym, Rose Mayor, Ruth WG, Sadie Smith, Sally Swift, Saltrese Maria, Samantha Harney, Sheila Reilly, Shirley Merriott, Sid Rewett, Simon Mares, South East Region CWU, Stephanie Peacock, Steve Sheikh, Steve Snook, Stewart Tippett, Stuart Singleton-White, Sue Hockham, Sue Stainthorp, Susan Edwards, Susie Kemp, Sylvie Pearce, T V Angling (sounds fishy), Tammy Bedford, Tim Heaver, Tom Crisp, Tom D Watts, Tony Page, Tracy Fernandes, Trish Thomas, TVPA, Valerie Lambourn, Viki Lloyd, Will Sherlock, Winters

Mr Salter admitted it was thanks to the airport that he arrived in Reading. He was made redundant from a job there and with £3,000 redundancy pay in his pocket he was able to come and buy a house in Reading “because it was cheap”.

Reading is bracing itself for an orgy of congratulations in the local newspapers as editors fall over themselves to praise John Madejski, the man who owns most of the town, donates thousands of pounds to the the local Conservative Party's coffers and has the local Labour party by the balls over funding for the Madejski Academy and the Station Hill development.

The news of the honour for Sir John in the New Year's honours list comes as no surprise after Tony Blair last February openly admitted using the honours system to reward tycoons who gave money to support Academy Schools. At a Downing Street press conference, Mr Blair said he was perfectly comfortable for people to believe that those who helped finance his city academies scheme were rewarded by the government through the honours system. Giving money to a government scheme, the then Prime Minister said, was like donating money to support an art gallery.

"It's not a question of endorsing my policy, it's a question of contributing to society," Mr Blair said. "It is absolutely right that we say these are people who have done something good for our country." He continued: "Especially when it saves Labour from having to spend real money on education so that we can continue to piss tax payers monies up the wall on consultants and PFI contracts."

Obama Visits Reading

News of Barack Obama's victory in the US Presidential election has lead to tributes being paid by townsfolk desperate to jump on a moving bandwagon. In his July tour of Europe Barack Obama came to within 2 miles of the town as he flew over Reading whilst returning to the States via Heathrow. Such close links with the town presented our features editor Anna Dinn with a headache as she spent the early hours of the morning scrambling around to fill as many column inches with tenuously linked stories as possible.

Local Lib Dems welcomed Obama's victory and pledged to carry on supporting his campaign for 2012 by telling their former Kentwood candidate to 'not come back' from his stint manning the phone banks.

The Conservatives, for their part, sent over the former leader of Wokingham council who offered his services if ever the President-Elect had a controversial planning application on green belt land that he'd like help promote against the wishes of the local population.

The local Labour Party were a little more cautious in their praise with Martin Salter telling our reporter: "This is a bad day for democracy. John McCain was quite right to denounce this left wing redistributor of wealth, I thought socialism was a discredited policy that had been stamped out across the world. It certainly has been in the Labour Party."

Ex-Ashmead pupil Ricky Gervais has turned his back on the Hollywood life style by walking into a local convenience store in Los Angeles and buying a carton of milk.

Born in Reading in 1961, Gervais is the Emmy award winning creater of the Office and Extras. The former Whitley schoolboy, full name Ricky Dene Gervais, went up to the counter and paid in cash for the 32 fluid ounces of semi-skimmed milk in cash. It is thought that the creator of comedy icon David Brent was buying it so that he could according to his publicist 'have a nice cup of tea'.

Tomorrow we have exclusive news of Kate Winslet, who was born in Reading in 1975, and her difficult choice between quilted or non-quilted toilet paper.

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