Rik Willis has acted angrily to reports that the Conservative Party put up non-residents of Reading as candidates at the local elections.

The litigous politico said: "It's not true and I will use the sword of truth and trusty shield of fair play and the lottery that is the libel courts to prove that that sometime in April I asked to be removed from the Sutton register just in time for the May issue. So yah boo sucks."

However, when it was pointed out it wasn't his residency being questioned but Wokingham residents, succesful Park ward candidate Wazir "Tyson" Hussain and Ricky 'Never Seen In Katesgrove ' Singh he changed his tack: "Look we may have implied that they were local, we just didn't say exactly where they were local too."