Anneliese Dodds has responded to widespread accusations of "Who?" by trying to raise her profile in the borough. To counteract the zero publicity generated by her broken personal web site www.anneliesedodds.org, the anti-student fees and anti-Trident Labour supporter has employed a crack team of fashionistas in an attempt to boost her fading image. The first outing for her new makeover was at the Nelson Mandela Birthday Picnic in the Forbury Gardens sporting a new L'Oreal hair colour: 'Belisha Orange', because she's worth it.

Martin Salter was quick to defend his protégé. "This just shows what a caring person Anneliese is. When she's not manning stalls at council funded events for the Labour Party, she'll be helping children cross the road safely," he said before adding: "Now Annelise, go and stand at the back. We're about to take the publicity photos."