Ming the Merciless's diabolical scheme for the conquest of Britain has been uncovered after the BBC News website reported that 'Lib Dems plan air tax to aid rail'. An unrepentant Mr. Merciless told assembled hacks: "It's only when the public realise what damage they are doing to the planet by breathing in oxygen and breathing out carbon dioxide and are hit through their wallets that we can affect meaningful climate change."

Ming's path to conquest has been helped by the big blue hope, David Cameron, being unavailable to save the world from The Merciless as he'd pissed off for a few photo opportunities in Rwanda.

Only Flash Gordon-Brown can stand in the way of the ruthless megalomaniac, but Flash is struggling to keep his only weapon, Public Private Partnerships, alive in the face of companies going bust when their massive public subsidies are withdrawn.

Make sure you watch next week's exciting episode!