Plans to close two slip roads serving the Inner Distribution Road (IDR) have been announced after it emerged that there weren't enough problems in that section of the road.

Tom Crisp, Reading's cycling mad traffic supremo said: "It's unfair that traffic turning into Chatham Street or Friar street, by and large, haven't been inconvenienced by snarl-ups and gridlock to the extent that users of the Oracle and TGI Friday's Roundabouts have. Of course, anyone who is not an idiot will rat run through the residential streets west of the IDR, but that's not my problem. They're not giving me section 106 cash."

Cllr Tony Page, lead councillor for community action and regeneration, said Chatham Place residents were looking forward to having the town redesigned for their benefit. "We can't expect cash-rich young professionals in their luxurious city pads, finished with anodised aluminium and Villeroy and Boch and Zanussi fittings and fixtures to expect to mix with residents, which is why I'm delighted to also announce phase three of the development which will see 4 metre high gates and entry phones put up at the eastern end of Oxford Road to keep the riff-raff out."

Lorries too high or wide to reach The Hexagon via Castle Street will now be redirected to The Anvil in Basingstoke.