Reading Tories have released their much anticipated 'Roadmap' and have laughed off accusations that it is a 'back of a fag packet' job. Mike Townend told us: "Definitely not. With a bit of tippex we've managed to fit it all on the front of the fag packets."

After months of pouring over the submissions to the Independent Traffic Commission and stealing ideas, the Conservative vision for Reading they maintain is a green one, continuing to pursue the shift from the car to alternative forms of transport such as 4x4s and people carriers. To achieve this they plan to built a dirty great big road demolishing the horseshoe bridge through to the A3290, although they are hoping that no-one will tell Wokingham Council about the reinstatement of the Cross-Town Route this side of the election. The new Ian Smith Expressway will help speed the school run to Reading's grammar schools. "It's bloody inconvenient when Nanny has to take Tarquin to school in the X5 and gets stuck behind a bus."

They also want to eliminate the river speed limit to encourage the use of speedboats by commuters along the Kennet and Thames. "The river is an under-utilised resource. Why should one be forced to keep one's yacht over-wintering in some marina when it could be used to avoid the traffic? And heliports. We definitely need a few heliports for when ones chums want to drop in unexpectedly."

Other plans include introducing Park and Ride schemes where anyone can park outside your house all day for free and ride a bus into town.