Local Greens have been racked by internal strife after a concerted effort to boost their vote in Park ward called into question their core beliefs. Rob White and Adrian Windisch were said to have had a sit down argument over a soya milkshake because of the amount of shoe leather being consumed by their delivery runs.

"Just how many cows had to die for this attempt to get doped up students to waste their votes before they all get jobs as stockbrokers and start voting Tory?"

Rob White responded vigorously to the unfounded accusation:
"How dare you suggest that I exploit animals? I wear synthetic shoes and caffeine is the real drug danger for students. Think of the planet, won't somebody think of the planet?"

"Okay then, just how many prehistoric forests had to die before they were pumped out of the ground and turned into synthetic rubber in this attempt to get doped up students to waste their votes before they all get jobs as stockbrokers and start voting Tory?"

The Green Party in response have issued a statement: "We would like to emphasise that it is not our policy to tell our core voters to grow up and get a haircut. Who'd vote for us?"