Dog owners in West Reading are livid after Thames Valley Police started mounted patrols in Prospect Park with no-one picking up after the culprits. "It's always one law for the police and another for the rest of us. Look at the size of that," said one annoyed walker. "Scaling up that's got to be at least a £1,000 fine." Reading Borough Council are inclined to agree and have already drawn up plans to claw back some of next year's Council Tax settlement by the kilo.

West Reading Neighbourhood Sergeant Adrian Lewis poo-poohed the idea and said the mounted patrols are here to stay. "It's not one of my mane concerns. As long as the locals don't go horsing about and pony up their fixed penalty fines they won't be saddled with debts. My officers have the bit between their teeth and want to form a stable relationship with the community via the local NAGs. Don't have night mares."