4.30pm Lazy Town
Reading youngsters get fatter as yet another take away is approved to replace a local shop lost to Tesco.

4.50pm Blue Peter
40 minutes of Peter Jones swearing at members in the Council chamber.

5.30pm Catweazle
Featuring Peter Jones as an eccentric, incompetent, dishevelled and smelly (but lovable) old 11th century wizard who accidentally travels through time and finds himself confused and abandoned in the 21st Century.

6.00pm News
30 minutes of reports of Labour incompetence at a national level.

6.30pm Local News
30 minutes of local Labour politicians doing their best to make people believe that they're not actually members of the Labour Party.

7.00pm Eastenders
Reading's best loved soap. There's trouble at the Queen Vic as Landlady Jo Lovelock refuses to acknowldge that she doesn't own the pub any more. Romance blossoms on the Square as Paul and Debs sneak off to the group room.

7.30pm Top Gear
Where to find the best drugs in Reading. Today the presenters visit Mandela Court, Whitley Street and the Oxford Road in their pimped up Vauxhall Novas.

8.30pm University Challenge
Teams from the University of Reading desperately try to pass their degrees after being accused of not being able to read and write by their lecturer Peter Jones.

9.00pm 10 Years Younger
Labour Party members reminice about the good old days when they still ran the council and try to recreate the same scenario in their heads aided and abetted by Tory plastic surgeon Andrew Cumpsty, make-up artist Tony Page, dental expert Gul Khan and fashion expert Jo Lovelock.

10.00pm The 'F' Word
A full hour of responses to opposition amendments by the local Labour Party in the council chambers, followed by the 'S' word, the 'B' word and the 'C' word.

11.00pm Big Brother
Local Labour party install yet more CCTV cameras to enforce revenue earning fines. Warning may involve more involuntary swearing by Tourettes sufferer Peter Jones when the long promised talking CCTV camera finally gets delivered.