Reading Borough Council has issued a press release revealing that the press release revealing that the council had received 3 stars in the annual Comprehensive Performance Assessment was the fastest press release issued so far this year. Council spokesman Oscar Mortali told the press: "We are really pleased to say that at 3 minutes 30 seconds from the report hitting the PR department's inbox to the issuing of the media communication is a new record." The good news was welcomed all around the council as Trish Haines sent a priority communication to employees telling them: "I bet you won't read about this on muckspReading." David Sutton, Leader of the council added: "This is really good news for the people of Katesgrove and I'm really pleased to be able to add my name to this council press release for no reason whatsoever. Please try to remember who I am come next May."

The council's press department has however denied burying the previous report that awarded only one star to the council for their safer communities programme. "It's not true to say that we don't have a date for publishing our response to that report. If you look on the web site you will see that that particular press release is scheduled for when hell freezes over."