A well placed source has claimed that a well known Thames Valley politician is sensationally about to defect to another party.

Our political analyst told us: "No, it's not Azam Janjua, our source said it was a well known politician."

Speculation was mounting that Boris Johnson, MP for Henley-on-Thames, was planning to resign the whip after he told a fringe meeting of the Association of Italian Barbershops: "One of my good chums in Reading sent me a copy of the Roman Party's manifesto and there is a lot in there I can commend to the country. It makes jolly more sense to me than the Tory manifesto. I like their wizzo idea of sending prisoners to foreign jails and Scotland seems a spiffingly marvellous place for that purpose. I shall have to have a word with that cad Martin Salter over canapes about the Roman Party's pledge to publish MPs' expenses in the local papers because it's something that would need cross party support. I'm just going to try on this toga. I wonder why they call it a toga. It looks like a sheet to me. The Tongalese natives probably use it wrap up their relatives before they boil them. Oh Cripes! I'm not going to have to apologise again am I?"