A READING based consultancy has been providing expert advice to the Mauritian government on how best to develop its transport plans. The man from Peter Brett Associates met the Deputy Prime Minister, Dr Ahmed Rashid Beebeejaun, to provide a completely independent review of the current transport strategy for the island.

PBA expert Bob Pinkett told us: "I came to this island with no pre-conceptions of what was required, but it was soon clear that a large amount of remedial work was required. Our proposal was very simple, the central roads needed to be linked in a one way system, let's call it say, an inner distribution road. A massive commercial and retail development is needed to take place within this area and all the traffic funnelled to a single roundabout. Inadequate parking must be provided. The main roundabout in Port Louis must go and be replaced with a 8 phase set of lights controlled by a macaque monkey to ensure disruption and we've also suggested a week long traffic survey to bring the roads to a complete halt whilst we come up with excuses to recommend a congestion charge. And just to keep the green lobby happy, we'll stick a windmill on top of Piton de la Petite Rivière Noire to spoil the view. Now where's my fee?"