Reading Borough Council's Cabinet have voted for 26 year old Tom Crisp to take over as Lead Councillor for Transport Strategy despite admitting that he rarely drives around Reading as he catches the train to work. "The public really need to understand that we must do something about all the cars in town because they keep getting in the way of my bike. I've already had a few ideas of my own. Think back to the turn of the 20th century when there was very little congestion on our roads. I don't think it's any co-incidence that the abolition of the man walking in front of the car carrying a red flag led to an explosion in traffic. It's something we should seriously investigate reinstating."

Jon Howarth, the former transport supremo who chickened out of standing at the recent elections, said: "As someone who doesn't drive much in town, Tom is well qualified to bugger up the roads. I have every confidence that he'll carry on my good work."