With Fred Pugh leaving to spend more time with his model Garratt engines on his Bulawayo shunting yard train set, Reading Conservatives have picked their new Übergrüppenfuhrer. In a keenly fought contest Andrew Cumpsty, Wasir Hussein and Isobel Ballsdon threw their names into a cardboard box, with Andrew "Pub Landlord" Cumpsty emerging as the victor of the back of an envelope vote.

In the end the choice was simple as Mr. Hussein failed to attract enough votes with many in the group believing that he would be no good in a fight, whilst Ms. Ballsdon had to be content with being made secretary because of her obvious qualifications - she's a girl.

After his victory Group Leader Cumpsty said: "It is a real privilege to be elected as the new leader and I'd like to thank Squadron Leader Rik Willis for his late night milk and cookies session on Political Betting which made all this possible. Tally-Ho!"